One of my favorite songs is on a CD that Beth Moore was involved in. (So right there you either love or don't love this song- just saying, I've met ladies who are convinced Beth loves them and know her personally, and I've met a few women who don't like being called "beloved", "precious" and touched on that level and, really, can't stand her. I, for one, have never questioned her love for me and she prays for me by name, just to clarify my stance. Take your side and let's continue…)
Jesus I am Resting, Resting
This traditional hymn was written in the late 1800's by a woman named Jean Sophia Pigott. She lived to be 37 years old, and this beautiful hymn has had significant meaning to persecuted missionaries, one being in China, watching fellow brothers being murdered. Biblical rest can mean a couple of things- physical rest and the rest of your soul in the faith of God, and no doubt these missionaries knew both meanings.
I appreciate quiet times in my house. It rarely happens, but sometimes I can get up early and tiptoe. Saturday morning I woke up to my alarm to go to a low impact "ballet burn" class with my friend. (It humbly burns everywhere, just to clarify.) Brewed the coffee, had a quiet time, checked the weather. (Typing that felt like a real adult.) My entire family was happily asleep and it was wonderful.
You see, we're past the getting up in the wee hours of the night. My children wake up and make their own breakfast sometimes. They clothe themselves usually. We are settled, for the most part. Things are relatively calm. I have time to look around and reflect, most of the time. I wash clothes and they get put away often.
My husband and I have been last minute planners our whole marriage but we had Christmas bought and wrapped by December 1. Tree was up, presents wrapped, Christmas scenes portrayed a very snowy situation, lit up, with a few Barbies strategically placed by the princess brigade to join in the fun. We went on a date that weekend and left the rest of the gingerbread house with the sitter. (Which hindsight has revealed that was a risky move, but turned out beautifully.) I just haven't ever been here before, so my shock for this situation is still fresh.
We have arrived at a landing spot, you see. A recent Facebook post of mine expressing my shock and explained my current state of events- being well-rested, quiet times and the bittersweet surrounding children growing up, rest being "hugely sweet" and my contentment, peace, love.
This is the rub- resting comes from God. It comes from trusting him, experiencing his peace and tranquility, and from being satisfied in him. Sleeplessness comes from midnight feedings and bearing the burden when God should take over.
I will be honest here. There are some things that have happened in my life I just don't understand. Some things that haven't caused happiness, but pain.
With God, underneath it all, there is joy.
He alone can carry the burden, the pain, the situation, and give unending joy. I've found myself sleeping well- for the first time in a few years- knowing that God is responsible for me on the deepest level yet. This faith walk, it's a process, and my prayers have been heard.
My heart behind all of this is thankfulness. Gratitude. My children are happy, healthy, sleeping. Thankful for the roof over our head and the food in the pantry. Thankful I am alive. Thankful for Jesus. Thankful He is not done with me and thankful I am one day closer to meeting Him face to face, when all is said and done.
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