Dancing for Him

Yesterday was dance recital rehearsal for my littlest. I have to say I think being a "dance mom" even with a preschooler is too stressful, but oh so worth it. (I think.) I watched all the dancers perform and at one moment was in tears with laughter. In my three years experience of dance "moming" it, there is always one little girl who dances to her own beat. Doing what she wants.

Well there was one this go round too. In one dance all the little girls had yellow sparkly tutus with a wonderful bounce. The group pitter pattered to their spots on stage. The lights turned on and the other little girls were politely waiting for their music cue. However, as soon as the music came on, one decided to let go. The beat was there and she needed to spin. So she spinned. She stopped. Looked around. No one stopped her so she threw her head back smiled and did it again. Stopped for a little arm motion action. Realized the dance required a point and straighten with her foot and did as the rest of the group did, but caught up in the music she let go. She danced to her own beat. The audience was loving it. My heart screamed, "Yes, girl, dance!"

Everyone loves that child, right? She got giggles, claps, applause. She was herself. Don't we all want to be our authentic selves?

A few weeks ago a video circulated around the Internet of this couple at a gas station. Well, it was supposed to be a free style candid experience of the two of them lip syncing and dancing for some show, letting go in broad daylight. Much to my disappointment, it was fake. But people watched the video and make comments about how cool they were, wanted to be their friends, etc. People are attracted to being yourself. Truly yourself.

I feel like a little girl sometimes with God. He makes me feel beautiful. He makes me want to dance before him, laughing and enjoying the dance. But sometimes I stop dancing. I look around me. Some people dance differently. Some follow different dancing rules. Some are pouting and refusing to dance, complaining, whining. (God help me I have the lowest tolerance for whining. Especially whining adults.) Some people are **gasp** criticizing my dancing. (In my head I'm a Janet Jackson back up singer. But I may look like a rhino. I don't care...)

But God made me a dancer. He made me to find my beat in the rhythm of the Gospel. With my dance in flow and in tune to his nature, his fresh wind of forgiveness, grace, mercy, love. He wants me to stop looking around me, throw my head back and dance. Feel the beat and move.

I've felt this urge recently. Sometimes I brush shoulders with folks that care about living in a certain zip code or neighborhood, or needing their kids to be show monkeys to fill some need they have. (Sports, academics, what have you.) Or an "air" about them of superiority that serves as a boost for their confidence. (Sometimes trying to take your kids down in the process. Such is my experience the last few days.)

In a way that kind of stinkin thinkin becomes pattern of behavior, propping them up with things that God tells us will fall down. They will fail us. There is one thing that doesn't fail. God never fails. He can't. It is not in his character.

When I've spent time with God, those things and people fade away and he again becomes clearer. My girls are show-monkeys-turned beautiful princesses of the Most High God, created uniquely for the sole purpose of glorifying by enjoying him forever. Maybe they excel at some "trick", maybe not. Bottom line-

Have I introduced them to Jesus?
Have they met this Friend of mine who just never gives up loving? Do they feel this love?
Do they see a mommy apologizing, admitting she doesn't have it all together but she is held by the One who does?
Is my home filled with fresh winds of grace, tender mercies, beautiful moments, probably messy, but beautifully messy?
Are their activities tied to my identity/pursuits or for the purposes of developing their character, skills, preferences?

He whispers to me, "Dance Carla. Keep dancing. Look to me. Be yourself. Your authentic self. Speak life words. Be a life giver to those around you. Press on. The music may get a little dicey at times. With me you'll keep the beat. And soar gracefully. And with those awkward, sad, strange times that will occur, keep dancing to the beat. Glorify me. Live for me. You stand before an audience of one. And I think you are amazing. My glory is made more powerful in your weakness. The weaker you are, the stronger I am."

That's what he is telling me. My hope is you are hearing those same words. His purposes are for good. But we must be willing to dance with him. And remembering all the while when times get tough, he is gently turning our head to see his face, depending on him more, and glorifying him in our weakness.

My tutu is on and he thinks I'm beautifully ready. Front and center I'm hearing the beat and dancing like no one (but him) is watching.