So when he asked my girls this question as they sat all smiling on his lap, my littlest rubbing his furry coat (because she likes to touch soft things on magical people- Tinkerbell's shoe fluffs at Disney come to mind), this is how my oldest responded: "Well Santa, do you see this knee? (Lifts up dress to show knee.) Do you see how it's red? Well my sister did this before we came." Then she commenced to tell him the whole entire story, making the important points with very serious looks.
So that night we learned about family secrets, the term "throwing your sister under the bus" and forgiveness. We said "I'm sorrys" and how "blood is thicker than water." I was patient though, because I still put my foot in my mouth and want retribution every now and then.
My kids are kids and they fight well like other kids and they love each other well like other kids. They are processing, growing, learning, experimenting, and testing boundaries. They make mistakes. Are they good? Well, one of them fights with her words. The other girl fights with her fists. One of them loves with a nurturing mama sense, the other will take you to the ground (Lord help us she's never done this…) in defense of the other one. But are they good?
I can train them like little puppies to adhere to cultural standards and be good little girls. Sure I can. I can
I can watch their strengths and weaknesses, and design curriculum around their needs, wants, desires, dreams. We can provide them with opportunities to pursue passions, explore and create and dream.
I can teach them "character traits". How to take care of their fellow man and woman. How it's important to give, to help those around you. How children don't have as much as they do and how things are just plain unfair.
We can learn about cultures, languages, maybe one day we'll get these littles on a plane and show them more of the world. (However, as a former ESL teacher, we have culture all around us and planes aren't always necessary…)
As they get older I can break out the fine china, teach them about silverware and which utensil to use when. I can teach them Southern hospitality and tradition, when to wear white, how to make a cake from scratch, and how you brew a pot of sweet tea when people come over. Honoring the older people. Yes ma'am's and sir's may be seemingly old fashioned but they sure do go a long way. Pearls go with every outfit and cross your legs at the ankle during a job interview. Wear white underwear to the doctor. Paper the toilet seat in public facilities. (Ok- those last two came from my grandmother. Haha!)
I can teach them their roots and all about our ancestors. Family trees, mistakes made, and that great great uncle that ran off and joined the circus instead of helping the family back home. (We have some fun stories lurking in our family trees.) I could even claim my cousin Randy Travis, bless his heart, and explain how he changed his name when he went big into the country music scene and explain how you need to keep your clothes on in public at all times.
Actually, I do a lot of these things- I suppose a little of the things I listed. I like that I am raising my girls in the south. I could focus on behavior alone and maybe have a good chance to have good girls that contribute to society, explore their dreams, passions, etc. Maybe they would be described as true "southern ladies" one day. Maybe they'd even know Scripture and be "religious". But bound to these things, expectations, rules alone, it comes up short. It's not the whole picture.
If I didn't bind all of these teachings to a relationship with Christ, we would miss the whole point. The blessings, teachings, the good around us is God smiling at us, directing us to himself. Like an artist puts his delight and longing in his piece of work, studying the artist is the only way to understand, to fully experience the works of art. Beauty comes through blessings- it's not the blessing itself, but pointing us to something bigger- the Person of Beauty. The Story of Beauty.
I love children. I hope to always be around them until I die. The amazing beautiful things they do, well it sometimes brings me to tears. If my focus shifts to my children as "show monkeys" or extensive praise that crosses the bounds, it's not beautiful anymore. It becomes burdensome on that little one and they'll think they are the purpose of the movie- the only leading character.
Jesus is telling a story much bigger than my life. The point of my life is that I am written into His Story and I get to play a part. This frees me up to parent with grace, love, and a freedom to love as Jesus loved and know the pressure is off- the script is already written. We seek Him, sit back, and enjoy the ride.
I'm fairly convinced that I won't have a future in a TV mini series. (My choice would be the Hallmark Movie Channel though- ask my husband who just about ruins all my Christmas movie experiences with eye rolling and scoffing, telling me which actors are just "recycled" from our childhood…)
No, my name won't ever be known but this movie is a part of a story that goes on forever. This doctrine turned dynamic relationship. The Voice that I follow- my Artist.
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