So I had to call my GI doctor today and it brought back a great memory of when we met. You see, he's an awesome doctor with an awesome name. What is it, you ask? Dr. Pai. (Read that "Pie".) My sister recommended him to me and I giggled. How fitting. So when he walked into the exam room and introduced himself, I told him his name was delicious. And then we talked about our favorite pies and Thanksgiving and his family. (I don't just visit doctors, it's a social event. Now some might be saying, "Poor homeschooling mama. She doesn't get out much." But the reality is I pride myself on talking to just about anyone. Especially weird ones. Those are super interesting.) My visit in a couple of weeks will be sure to help me digest my "pie" better. He's that good:)
My brother in law recommended I go to an eye doctor in town just in case we can't make it to see him in his office forever away. (They won't move. I already asked.) I called the number and guess what his name was? Dr Vizithum. (read "visit em"). I should have prepared myself before I called because I have this middle school girl tendency to giggle at silly things at the worst times. It can be so hard to be an adult for me sometimes. (As in, the preacher could be talking about someone dying but if he gets tounge-tied and says something naughty by accident, I might have to fake cough and leave the room. Sorry folks, it is what it is.) So on the phone I had to crack a stupid joke that overwhelmed me and made me cry. "I guess I'll be in to Vizithum next week." I couldn't contain myself. I hung up, my husband shaking his head, and me about to pee in my pants. Best part, it was still funny to me when I had to call back and reschedule. (My comment then, "I've gotta Vizithum another time and reschedule.") Still funny as I laugh and type right now.
Then there is a Dr. Wiener in the nearby area. Yep, he's a urologist. True story. He probably felt his calling early in his life to, yes, work with wieners. With a name like that its either x-rated work or urology. I'd pick urology, wouldn't you?
We had a friend in college with the last name "Beaver". No, he didn't go into gynecology, at least to my knowledge. Yeah. Disappointing to me too. I remember in med school when people asked him about the connection he'd say, "Dr. Beaver, at your cervix." Funny stuff indeed.
So I don't have an interesting name at all. But there is this guy in Sea Rescue (Saturday morning kid show, a favorite in this house). I tell my husband I want his name. I mean, our name is fine and all. But, his is "Sam Champion". Can you imagine walking around town as "Mrs. Champion"? Yeah. Me too and its a wonderful wonderful image. "Yes, well, I am a Champion and all. You can't change that fact." (insert snarky, yet trying to be humble, laugh) And your kids all walking around like "captain Americas" and all. For sure be whooping all the kids hineys in sports. Cause "we are the champion..." I think I'll keep my man (um forever) but Sam Champion, I covet your awesome name.
A couple of weeks ago I read a story about a homeschool mom named "Mona Lisa". She has sent every one of her kids to college by age 12. I kid you not. These guys are the real deal. I bought their e-book the other day (just out of curiosity cause y'all I hope my girls are still into American Girl overpriced crap at age 12.) I forgot I had bought it (shocker) and a strange charge came up with a phone number in my account. So, clearly, we called the number. One of their kids answered the phone (oh yeah, I realized the purchase) and said Mona Lisa and her husband were on a date. How cute. How the heck you find time to have that much sex and have all those babies, date your husband, and send your kids to college early, I have no clue. But, you can also buy a phone interview with them. So if I do this, I promise to blog and let y'all know how she does it. (And if we become friends with this family, expect the "sex" sentence to be deleted in 5,4,3,2,1 seconds...)
Can I be honest? ("Ok class, say, 'Yes Carla.'") And the following will probably show how selfish I am. Yeah, over it already. I usually meet people and as soon as they tell me their name I don't even try anymore. I don't even preface it with,"oh mommy brain I'll probably forget so you'll have to remind me again and again..." stupidity. I just say, "Nice to meet you." Not that they don't matter but I will remember their life story before their names. I am not a "Trivial Pursuit" kinda girl. I'm a "share your heart and soul outside of dance class and let's share for four straight weeks and make it too awkward to ask you your name at that point" so forever you will be "that dance class lady with the dysfunctional yet loving family who needs a glass of wine when they all get together" friend. Got that? I love people and need to work on this name thing.
We have new neighbors. A lot of them. All our old ones moved at once. Mass freakin exodus. (As far as I know it isn't us that stinks, just my crossfit pants.) So, I'm in a pickle. Because I still don't know the ones down the street who have been there for a few years. So, when it's like your NEXT door neighbor, you gotta put forth some effort. Well, my husband makes up cutesy sayings for them. I won't tell you in my blog, since I don't use names, but one is an international capital and the other an 80's rock band. He's amazing, that husband of mine. Thankfully he was listening when they introduced themselves. I was looking at what was in their boxes they were unpacking and didn't have time for that. (Who's really in that house beside us?? It's risky business...)
So this week I had four (count um- 4) opportunities to become unglued. (There were more, but I focus on these four, ok?) I told God he needed to stop already. They were themed (yeah God for making my issues "match") and all played upon this soft spot in my heart.
And while I got angry, I paused, but I filled that pause with anger and not God. Even a prayer of "Lord, I want to say _____. Please shut my mouth. Give me peace." That would have been appropriate. But I was angry. I had rules and they were broken.
But not everyone follows your rules. Not everyone cares if they hurt people. Sometimes, *gasp*, people want to "stir your pot" and watch and wait. What will you say? (I have most definitely met people who just can't tolerate peaceful existences. Almost like a game they need to keep some kind of drama going. I cannot feed their "addiction". Not happening. No time and energy for that.)
So I'm wondering in these moments, am I having an identity crisis? I know I'm not Mrs. Champion (tears shed), but I have the power of the Holy Spirit in and around me. He gives self control. And these moments I might have the propensity to become unglued, so to speak, is Sweet Jesus testing, trying, and recommitting His love for me. Carla, do you know who you are? At all times?
And then he tells me when I fail, "It's ok. You've learned. I went deep with you. I know it hurt. But, know who you are. I will remind you. You can choose a better way. You have a better way, paved through the blood of Jesus. You are redeemed."
I don't make any promises about always having it together. As God refines me and keeps me, I will encounter these moments. But, the pause button is there. And I've prayed for God to help me use it.
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