In Full Control

So there is a little southern tradition that has been passed down as long as I can remember. Let it be known that no one messes with mama's purse. Now this has been a known rule in our household. My dad is still afraid to go in my mama's purse.  He will pick up the whole dang purse, all 28 pounds of it, and carry it to her.  Go in there?  Not on your life.  My husband says there might be a fiery dragon guarding mine. He says he's not 100% sure because he's never been in there. I suppose only I hold the key to that knowledge....

So when the technician working at our house went into my purse, he broke a big rule.  Family rules.  Took money hard earned.  And lied.

I ask myself the question after this experience has (prayerfully) settled...

God what are you teaching me?

I let my guard down. I left the house to the porch for one minute. Left the throw up trashcan I religiously held for my sick daughter on the sofa for a minute. And I was distracted.

Now you know when you have children you gain a sixth sense. It's called "you touch my kids and you regret it". It's a powerful sense.

You bring that little baby home from the hospital.  You make everyone cover themselves with a blanket to hold that firstborn.  Hand sanitizer.  You might get a security system. Carefully watch the house grow through the years, so to speak. You scrutinize who comes in and out of your house. Who is around the bubble you've carefully blown around your family, inheritantly good of course.

You might choose to homeschool or private Christian school. And while those are options beautifully written into many families (including our's), and it can for some people be affective with helping children walk through aspects of growing up, I try to pause to remember...

The enemy is also within.

It's when the enemy is inside your house. You've got yourself a situation now.

He's forgotten.  He's working.  He's there and watching.  He's waiting for you to be distracted.

This human enemy took my money. And I pray the situation is over. The spiritual parallels. They will stay with me.

And before we left for church this morning, I found the perfect pink legging for the cutest sweater dress my mama gave my girls.  Hair was even brushed.  I smiled and popped a Bible DVD in the player. After hearing about the mess of kings in the Old Testament on the DVD my daughter says,

"I am so glad we aren't as bad as they were. People in the Bible were so messed up!"

I paused the DVD. I explained God used sinful people to proclaim his good grace. That the Old Testament operated minus the redemption of Jesus. Sacrifices. Altars. Sin. Killing of innocent animals for to make it right. The New Testament murder of the One innocent. Full redemption of sin offered as a grace gift.  Redeemed bodies at the second coming. The Bible=Gods rescue plan.

"Aren't you thankful those people messed up so much? I am because I don't get it right. I'm actually really messed up. Under it all, I am held together by the Maker of the universe. I figure if he's got that covered, he can keep me together. Forgiven. Redeemed. Don't you? He used sinful people in the Bible, just like us and he's changing us."

You see, we clean up well. 

And on Facebook one can live a fantastically amazing life. I like the country song, "I'm so much cooler online." Only the good pictures get published. When our kids perform nice tricks- well, they definitely go on there. (Bonus if they're actually good at that sport;)

People rarely air the dirty laundry. Good mom moments are plastered as a gold star even if it's just for our personal gratification and the moments we sin against out children? No one posts about that. No one updates statuses about depression. Anxiety. Overwhelmed. Yelling at our kids.  Uncertainty.  Sin.  The camera comes out when it's all good.  Good star moments.  Tricks.  Stars.  Coordinating outfits.  Selfies that say, "ahhhhh."

But I struggle at times, just like every mom.  I pray for sanctification.  God dredge the sin out of my heart.  Identify idols and replace with more of you.  He doesn't disappoint.  Discipline hurts but the reward to being closer to the sweet presence of Jesus, it's more of him.

We recently moved to a new house. Unsettling event taking place there.   I willingly let the enemy in.  For a short bit home didn't feel like home.

And I'm silly with my husband quoting Vanilla Ice, "Get in where you fit in." And suddenly I realize I'm not sure I fit in anywhere when I read the headlines today. Evil. Vile. Come Lord Jesus.  It seems so out of control.

But He's in full control and my home is where God is.

And it might sound hokey but at times when I feel unsettled, I touch my hand to my heart.  He's there at work prayerfully making it clean.  I continue to read God's love notes to me.  Drawing me.  Calling me to him, even through an unsettling experience.  Each day a step closer to heaven.  

Keeping my eyes wide open as I pray, Lord show me where you are working and let me in.  In my life.  My husband's life.  My girls.  Let me not be distracted by what evil happens around me, but catch us up in what you are doing.

Let me be a change agent.  

My home is in heaven where rust and moths can't destroy.  I can taste it here on Earth but one day we will all see his full unrestrained glory.

I am most certain God has a nice heavy purse waiting for me guarded by flaming swords because that just seems right.