Hmm. So I just need to sit back and document today. This mama has learned so much educating my children off the beaten path. Learning that has not even included my children at times. So when I found an outdoor center to take my children to, I jumped on it. Mostly- well, we've been done with our curriculum and we just need to play. We love the outside and these children need their minds filled with more things than mama can give. (Still praying they remember the good and not the "mama hide your crazy":)
So play we did. We drove up to the day camp and although I could still hear the distant highway, I felt like we were definitely in a more peaceful place. The man who greeted us wasn't wearing shoes and had a hole-filled shirt on. He led my girls to field games.
I stayed back just to hang out because I figured these folks are really groovy and maybe I need to be here. It was calling me. They welcomed me with open arms and well, we just did it. We did the thing. Half-day camp. Walked deep into the woods to logs circling a fire hearth. Guitar played by a man covered in mud. Man clad in plaid playing the tambourine. We shared what we were thankful for. We sat in our thinking spots, directed to use our senses to hear the sounds, feel the earth, touch the flora, smell the forest. I did all that while I texted my husband. I told him I would pay out of pocket for this experience on my own.
It's not every day that you see a grown woman welcome a bug to crawl in her hair. And while my oldest was telling a leader that we had a ton of inchworms in our trees I was praying Lord, please don't tell her daddy went on a rampage and tried to kill them all with whatever poison solution he could find, spraying the air with machine gun precision. Please Lord. I already don't fit in here, as she directed my daughter to place the inchworm outside of the circle to preserve its life. I sat in my preppy workout clothes and pearl studded earrings. Ann Taylor Loft sunglasses. Fit bit attached religiously to my left arm with my nice shoes on with the inserts for my geriatric ankle.
I tried to fit in. I mentioned to the lady leader about her bare feet, "You are into grounding, right?" She said yes and sometimes tries to grocery shop barefoot. You see, I've read about this stuff but I can't really tell you I've completely dived right on in. (The research is there, I have yet to take a step.)
One of the mamas eating a Larabar letting her child lay on the ground, "I have a homemade recipe for those with my Vitamix." She loves her Vitamix and travels with hers too. She wants my recipe. See, not so different.
So when my phone went off during circle time, I was embarrassed. I mean, really, how disrespectful can I be? It was like a church service, and you know the church people give some ugly looks for that kind of deed. No dirty looks.
I was feeling ok, then my littlest says to the man in mud, "Ooh. That guy is agusting." No one responded so she needed to say louder, "That man is a gusting!!" And one more time as she sat on my lap. "He is agusting!" So I said, "It's for the bugs. He needs it for the bugs." If anyone was offended, no one said a word.
So this is the thing. I love crunchy. I actually love all kinds of people and I'm really quite preppy as evidenced with today's happenings. I have these daughters that mostly match. They love their hair braided. Nails painted. Compared to these kids today, they're not crunchy. I have a husband who really isn't crunchy and refuses my homemade deodorant (but willingly will let me make him some shave cream). After battling parasites from international travel, I live a shoe-filled life. Wash your hands after you dig in the dirt. Watch out for the poison ivy and if you can't identify it, just stay away.
I want to demonstrate to my girls that they are unique. Fearfully made with a purpose. Those around them? Regardless of how similar or different they are, there is a reason for their paths to cross. To connect. To live and love and yes, feel different. Feel the rub with others and reach out in love.
What I learned today is that I am needing to give up more to God. Maybe this jump isn't that clear to you reading. But these events were evidence- the discoveries each child had, the leaders stopped to listen in amazement. The children running through the woods playing a game, needing to dart from poison ivy? Well, that was part of the fun. Finding a snake and holding it. Yes, holding it. Singing a song in a circle in the forest, letting our thankfulness emit from our mouths, and going barefoot. Going the heck barefoot and using duct tape for bandaids. (I am not making this stuff up.)
Letting go a bit. Stopping to listen. Turning our phones off and just being. This is not far from what God calls me to do. Very different and yet so similar.
So I'll continue to place my girls in these situations where they need to find their bearings and feel different. Learn from others. Collect friends like bouquets and know you can never have too many flowers. The different ones add delight to the bunch. Letting down their social barriers and connecting. And giving handmade deodorant to those in their paths who need it.
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