1. Pinch someones bottom. Wildly inappropriate, I know. (It's just this thing. There is a bottom straight in the air, asking to be pinched. Go ahead and judge. But don't bend over around me.)
2. Tickle a foot in my vicinity. (In a yoga class, especially a crowded one, feet just go this way and that. Tempting me to do very childish things. Sorry. I'm just an honest person.)
3. Pass gas.
The girls were equally excited for me so we got mommy some sushi. (My thyroid condition makes me crave seaweed. Maybe I really am a mermaid? This would delight my girls for sure.)
I love my gym I have been going to. Surrounded my older people. Retired and grouchy, some of them. Retired and patient, sweet smiling, warm-loving, some of them. Me aspiring to be like them, all of them. Their mobility. Their stamina. Their moving through.
I confessed my fears publicly to the ones warming up before the yoga class yesterday. They were kind enough to tell me I had placed my mat front and center, not back and center, like I had hoped. For this they are part of my heart. (I do not wish to be the instructor of a class I fear I will expel gas in.) They told me that I was welcomed, not to worry, and they would guide me along even if the unthinkable happened.
So look around I did. All the moves. All the poses. All the strengthening and the holding and the legs shaking. It wasn't easy.
Namaste, Jesus. I'm here. I'm quiet before You. Speak into my life.
I had several prayers and talkings to during that 45 minute class, moves I couldn't master, words not spoken but prayed. Lord my legs are criss cross, my hands are open. I'm listening.
Lord, make me broken. Make me feel like I am not complete, not all-together, not perfect. Make me delight in my insecurities and my inabilities and boast in Your saving grace in my life. In loving my neighbors help me realize my neighbors are those around me, broken and with needs, too.
Lord, make me empty. Allow me to empty myself before you. Each breath I release may Your Spirit fill me up. Where do I need to be emptied of myself? Do Your kingdom work in me.
Lord, make me lonely. Create in me this puzzle piece that only You can fill. You are my treasure and my delight and as I sit and pose in this class may I always keep You front and center. May I know when I am not seeking You because it hurts. Draw me into You.
Lord, make my paths well-worn to You. Make me grow through the years seeking You. Aged in years like the precious souls around me, following You, walking with you, going deep with You in my old years. May I be able to say when my time comes to see you face to face, "I have fought the good fight."
Lord, make me be in this moment. The air goes in like Your rushing Spirit. Running in and through me, all around me, in my family. Make this moment be full of You, enjoying You, low before You.
Breathing. Being. Living. Enjoying. Most importantly, loving alongside my Precious Maker of all good things.
Namaste, Jesus.
No comments:
Post a Comment