I need to take a moment and reflect on a precious life, a reader of this blog, who is now with Jesus- my sister-in-law's mother. She was a regular reader and once told me she wished I would include pictures of my girls, of which I still have yet to do. If I do in the future, I will nod to this wonderful lady who not only encouraged me but encouraged the masses.
I first met her when my sister-in-law, her daughter, and I were planning our weddings. Her attention to detail was impressive, and she wanted the day to just be perfect. (I need to add that her husband had the same heart, but of course, let the two of them decide on the sparkles, crystals, and details.) She knew how to have a good time and enjoy those around her. I think I laughed the entire wedding reception because people like her have really great friends.
I watched her relationships grow through the years. She became a grandma, perhaps her favorite role yet. She named all of her grandson's toys by name. A particular giraffe squeaky was not "giraffe". She decided one day he looked like a Frenchman, so his name followed suit. That sweet two-year old boy called it by name and she would just throw her head back and laugh.
She got on the floor and played with both boys, who definitely had her heart. They kept those boys and loved those boys and lived for those sweet grandsons. She was the most loving grandmother one could find. As it should be.
She was a vibrant lady, with an infectious laugh, and a wonderful smile. An encourager. Full of energy and light. Everything she did she attacked with exuberance. Wherever it was, she carried an enormous amount of energy. She was small in stature and larger than life. An energizer bunny. She was beautiful and stylish and graceful. She amazed me with her stilettos at the baptisms and her dangle earrings around her grandsons. Fearless, graceful style.
Her smile filled up her face. Her laughter filled up a room. People in her presence couldn't help but be happy. We celebrate her life. We celebrate that she has met our Maker face-to-face. She is in a beautiful place that fits her well- positive, glorifying, uplifting, ever-shining, happiness.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Don't Be Unreasonable
My oldest will begin Latin next year as a part of her curriculum. Why Latin? Mother tongue, baby. From it languages are easily explained. I remember loving studying the history of the Spanish language in college thinking man oh man I wish I could have learned this sooner! It is beautiful to me how one Latin word was altered to the various languages like a family tree. Omissions, additions. In Italy one time I ordered pizza and secured a hotel room speaking Spanish. We struggled a bit but the order was correct and we got the room we wanted:) The hotel manager and I hugged. We did it! Cousins. Language cousins.
So when God takes me deeper with Him with studying language in Scripture, pair that with speaking to my heart, with some practical guidance, now we are getting somewhere! He knows I eat it up.
I'll be honest with you. Ok, lean in. Sometimes I wonder why we're teaching our girls to turn the other cheek, forgive, love anyway, sacrifice. Listen here, the world they face is daunting, rough, unforgiving. Now individuals, sure, there are kind people. But in general, Are we raising doormats? Should we teach them it's all about them. Elbow your way to the top? Put yourself first. Don't look back. Step on someone if you have to. It's life. "It is what it is." (That phrase is waaaay overused.)
So we know we're not. Honestly. We're raising them as Jesus asks us to. How do I know? He talks to us and tells us and sometimes (prayerfully I hope more than I think) we're smart enough to listen and when we fall He gently corrects us. Imperfectly beautiful conversation. Lord-guide-us-and-make-us-willing-to-listen conversation.
There is this Greek word "dorean" That I cant get out my head. It literally means "freely, as a free gift". It also means "without reason". It is used a few times in Scripture (Matthew 10:8- sacrifice "freely you have received, freely give") and (John 15:25- Jesus said, "they hated me without reason") combining those two meanings, references, we have through Jesus received "unreasonable grace". Grace upon grace. Unmerited favor. Gods Riches At Christ's Expense.
What I've learned from this is give sacrificially. Teach love. Unreasonable grace. To the best of my ability. Lord help me please.
One more instruction though that Jesus gave his disciples was Matthew 10:16- "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves." Greek word shrewd= prudent, simple, practically wise. Innocent= without any mixture of deceit, without any defiling material.
The way to recognize the counterfeit truth is to know the Real truth. To recognize what is not right because you know the Maker so well. "Your Word is Truth" is a verse we all know in our house.
So I suppose you could say we're teaching the girls to be unreasonable. Praying they know Jesus so well that they recognize when less appealing things come their way. When deceit is at their front door. When Wisdom wins and leads them to the right path. Gently calling them to Himself. Loving them in spite of their sin. Making the plans for them good. Well. Unreasonable.
This could look like several things. Having girls I feel vulnerable. I don't see that as a weakness though. Their tender hearts will change the world, so I pray dear Lord. May I teach them to be grounded. May I remain grounded, in your Truth. Conversing with Truth. Open to Truth. Loved unreasonably by Truth. Turning this unreasonable grace outward. Where it belongs so that others may feel Him, experience Him, know Him, too. Jesus wasn't a doormat, but poured out His life because connected to God, and there we find are no limits.
So when God takes me deeper with Him with studying language in Scripture, pair that with speaking to my heart, with some practical guidance, now we are getting somewhere! He knows I eat it up.
I'll be honest with you. Ok, lean in. Sometimes I wonder why we're teaching our girls to turn the other cheek, forgive, love anyway, sacrifice. Listen here, the world they face is daunting, rough, unforgiving. Now individuals, sure, there are kind people. But in general, Are we raising doormats? Should we teach them it's all about them. Elbow your way to the top? Put yourself first. Don't look back. Step on someone if you have to. It's life. "It is what it is." (That phrase is waaaay overused.)
So we know we're not. Honestly. We're raising them as Jesus asks us to. How do I know? He talks to us and tells us and sometimes (prayerfully I hope more than I think) we're smart enough to listen and when we fall He gently corrects us. Imperfectly beautiful conversation. Lord-guide-us-and-make-us-willing-to-listen conversation.
There is this Greek word "dorean" That I cant get out my head. It literally means "freely, as a free gift". It also means "without reason". It is used a few times in Scripture (Matthew 10:8- sacrifice "freely you have received, freely give") and (John 15:25- Jesus said, "they hated me without reason") combining those two meanings, references, we have through Jesus received "unreasonable grace". Grace upon grace. Unmerited favor. Gods Riches At Christ's Expense.
What I've learned from this is give sacrificially. Teach love. Unreasonable grace. To the best of my ability. Lord help me please.
One more instruction though that Jesus gave his disciples was Matthew 10:16- "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves." Greek word shrewd= prudent, simple, practically wise. Innocent= without any mixture of deceit, without any defiling material.
The way to recognize the counterfeit truth is to know the Real truth. To recognize what is not right because you know the Maker so well. "Your Word is Truth" is a verse we all know in our house.
So I suppose you could say we're teaching the girls to be unreasonable. Praying they know Jesus so well that they recognize when less appealing things come their way. When deceit is at their front door. When Wisdom wins and leads them to the right path. Gently calling them to Himself. Loving them in spite of their sin. Making the plans for them good. Well. Unreasonable.
This could look like several things. Having girls I feel vulnerable. I don't see that as a weakness though. Their tender hearts will change the world, so I pray dear Lord. May I teach them to be grounded. May I remain grounded, in your Truth. Conversing with Truth. Open to Truth. Loved unreasonably by Truth. Turning this unreasonable grace outward. Where it belongs so that others may feel Him, experience Him, know Him, too. Jesus wasn't a doormat, but poured out His life because connected to God, and there we find are no limits.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Save the Drama For Your Mama
I love the Words, "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, mind your own business and work with your hands." My husband plays life like a chess game. He is also quite competitive and usually wins. He also is the least "offended" person I know. Water off a ducks back. I try to slide on by not asking for things to happen. Staying below the radar.
That being said, we are currently willing to invest in acres of land in a city we cannot pronounce or move in with my friend in Hawaii to escape the past few weeks of drama. Decisions. Stress. Unlikely happenings. (Ok, so my Hawaiian friend has not officially offered for us to come and live with her. So let's not be assuming and just politely take Hawaii off the list. But if you are reading this, just know we are open to that possibility.)
So what do you do when drama finds you? (Dr. Seuss is loose at the caboose.) First of all, I would like to say that in my humble opinion you aren't truly living unless you have some drama in your life. By drama, I mean differences, clashes of "preferences" (a term I think is a hugely positive spin on how we were created), or conflicts. I could wrap my children with bubble wrap, bubble our house off from the world, create social situations where we only engage with those most like us, I really could. I am a master whiz with bubble wrap and the latter plenty of folks have outlined for me. But clearly, none of us would be living.
Back when I made money for what I did, those roads, they are littered with tension, conflict, annoyances. I do not like tension. I prefer to hug things out or clear avoid the person. I employ both and each is effective in their own way for separate reasons, might I add.
My job back then was representing limited English speakers and I took my job seriously. I fended for those children, I played mama when their mamas and daddies couldn't make it into the special celebration (they did the best they could but when you are paid by the hour, you need the money, period). I went on home visits. I worked side-by-side teachers that loved these babies and sadly, I worked with some that would rather stick them in a corner. (No one needs to tell me how hard classroom teaching is- I extend grace.)
So already back then I learned some words I live by now, "Speak the truth in love even if your voice is quivering". I also learned that I didn't sleep until I spoke those words. Then I learned not to question those words even if things became awkward for a short time. I learned to deal with the drama, but certainly didn't ask for it, either.
So you'd think we homeschool our children, we have a fairly peaceful existence, lets just keep it this way for a while. Let's not rock the boat. Well, let me tell you Jesus is in the business of letting boats get rocked. He wants my children to see me pray my way through things. He wants them to ask me questions with "I don't know" as the only answer I can give. He pulls me through situations, relying on his Good Words to reveal that we are not flesh and bones but spiritual creatures, designed to let a Good Gracious God fight for us on the spiritual realm, and glorify him all the while. He wants us to feel, experience, and return to our Center.
If we end up buying land in the boondocks, and with our leftover money buy an RV to reside in, I'm not sure I would be happy. (Those that know me know I am talkative and my family might introduce me to some wild animals to converse with because they would get tired of me talking as I get tired of myself talking.) It turns out I'm most joyful with a God that allows these things to happen, pulls me through them, and takes me deeper with Him. As a 30-something I am learning that I eagerly anticipate the drama I'm presented with, as it draws me in to Him, lets Him do the work, and allows me to take a proactive stance- Lord, give me more of you. I'm like a tea bag boiling, baby. The water gets hotter and I just get stronger.
My past roads do have some litter along the side, but there are also some amazing houses. Children uplifted, taught, grown. Lives I had the privilege to watch being reconstructed. Special relationships I have to this day. Experience that will never be taken away from me. Gems that reflect the light of His glory.
So in the tunnel of drama, there is light at the end. But there is also Light in the middle along the path. And He has some really great stories to entertain as the roads get paved.
That being said, we are currently willing to invest in acres of land in a city we cannot pronounce or move in with my friend in Hawaii to escape the past few weeks of drama. Decisions. Stress. Unlikely happenings. (Ok, so my Hawaiian friend has not officially offered for us to come and live with her. So let's not be assuming and just politely take Hawaii off the list. But if you are reading this, just know we are open to that possibility.)
So what do you do when drama finds you? (Dr. Seuss is loose at the caboose.) First of all, I would like to say that in my humble opinion you aren't truly living unless you have some drama in your life. By drama, I mean differences, clashes of "preferences" (a term I think is a hugely positive spin on how we were created), or conflicts. I could wrap my children with bubble wrap, bubble our house off from the world, create social situations where we only engage with those most like us, I really could. I am a master whiz with bubble wrap and the latter plenty of folks have outlined for me. But clearly, none of us would be living.
Back when I made money for what I did, those roads, they are littered with tension, conflict, annoyances. I do not like tension. I prefer to hug things out or clear avoid the person. I employ both and each is effective in their own way for separate reasons, might I add.
My job back then was representing limited English speakers and I took my job seriously. I fended for those children, I played mama when their mamas and daddies couldn't make it into the special celebration (they did the best they could but when you are paid by the hour, you need the money, period). I went on home visits. I worked side-by-side teachers that loved these babies and sadly, I worked with some that would rather stick them in a corner. (No one needs to tell me how hard classroom teaching is- I extend grace.)
So already back then I learned some words I live by now, "Speak the truth in love even if your voice is quivering". I also learned that I didn't sleep until I spoke those words. Then I learned not to question those words even if things became awkward for a short time. I learned to deal with the drama, but certainly didn't ask for it, either.
So you'd think we homeschool our children, we have a fairly peaceful existence, lets just keep it this way for a while. Let's not rock the boat. Well, let me tell you Jesus is in the business of letting boats get rocked. He wants my children to see me pray my way through things. He wants them to ask me questions with "I don't know" as the only answer I can give. He pulls me through situations, relying on his Good Words to reveal that we are not flesh and bones but spiritual creatures, designed to let a Good Gracious God fight for us on the spiritual realm, and glorify him all the while. He wants us to feel, experience, and return to our Center.
If we end up buying land in the boondocks, and with our leftover money buy an RV to reside in, I'm not sure I would be happy. (Those that know me know I am talkative and my family might introduce me to some wild animals to converse with because they would get tired of me talking as I get tired of myself talking.) It turns out I'm most joyful with a God that allows these things to happen, pulls me through them, and takes me deeper with Him. As a 30-something I am learning that I eagerly anticipate the drama I'm presented with, as it draws me in to Him, lets Him do the work, and allows me to take a proactive stance- Lord, give me more of you. I'm like a tea bag boiling, baby. The water gets hotter and I just get stronger.
My past roads do have some litter along the side, but there are also some amazing houses. Children uplifted, taught, grown. Lives I had the privilege to watch being reconstructed. Special relationships I have to this day. Experience that will never be taken away from me. Gems that reflect the light of His glory.
So in the tunnel of drama, there is light at the end. But there is also Light in the middle along the path. And He has some really great stories to entertain as the roads get paved.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Cracked Teacups
I probably should start out with where I come from. I am from the south where one of the first things I learned to make was sweet tea. Where I have an antique deviled egg plate which I bring places and I can tell what kind of mayonnaise someone used at the church potluck based on first taste. I have a set of china that includes a sugar and a creamer and it gets used from time to time. That's what I know that's what I love. Born and bred.
I am thankful I married a southern gentleman. He escorted his three girls along with my sister to a tea room the other day. After a calculated look at the menu (I'm sure he was looking at what had the biggest amount of food;) I looked at him and asked how he felt, being in the lavender room, sipping sweet tea in an old Victorian house. He said he felt fine. You know he was raised to be a man and explore the world on his own by a mama that let them grow, but he also grew up around fine china, manners, and expectations. He said he felt like he was in his grandmother's house. (Which translated to "I am just fine with it because that woman meant so much to me." 11 and a half years I'm pretty good at reading him:)
He wasn't the only man there. I went to wash my hands, walked by a table and just couldn't look away. Sitting at a table for two was a daddy and his young daughter. I passed by them and that little girl had her little teacup and was just a talking away. That big daddy just smiling at his little girl. He was delighted in her. He briefly looked up, but all eyes were on her.
She didn't stop talking the whole time. Just talking about this and that, things that meant the world to a five year old girl. That great big daddy just smiled, taking it all in. She sipped her tea, dainty as she could be, and acted in her element of fancy with her big daddy.
All I could think about was my past week. And my mother who I cried on the phone to about the string of things that went from bad to worse for me, my daughter breaking her arm topping the whole week off with a bang. Her response to me was, "Go put your feet up and drink you some tea, honey." (She also said, "I want to beat them up for you," but that's beside the point.)
I prayed to God. I drank that tea. So the teacup I drank out of? Well, let me tell you a story, it was beautiful, but also chipped. It came from my husband's grandmother. It belongs to the family. She entertained in her beautiful old home as long as she was able. She would wash and dry that china and sometimes her hands weren't steady in her old age, and it would chip, or worse, it would break.
So I guess we could have overlooked the chipped pieces. I suppose they might be thrown away. But no, we kept the chipped ones. I choose the chipped ones out of the cupboard. First choice. I carefully drink around that roughly made edge and I don't mind my daughters carefully drinking with me. The chipped pieces paved the way for grace- a gift from a great grandmother to her great-granddaughters. We drink from the chipped cups with confidence.
I've been that little girl with God, having so much to say and so many important things. I feel hesitant to even bring things to him sometimes, because really, I get tired of myself sometimes. Like the chipped teacup, I have rough edges. I have places in my life where it just isn't fitting together perfectly. I look around me, it's the same for everyone, whether people want to believe it or not. I'm chipped but I most definitely belong in the family.
It's in these times when I ask him and pray, "Lord, show me your love. Show me your connection. Show me you," Then he places these situations in my life and says, "I am doing a good work in you. You are delighting me. My eyes are on you and not moving. I am that loving daddy in the tea room. Those chipped places, they offer grace, humility, a position to receive me fully. Don't stop being. Don't stop loving. Don't stop seeking or telling me your dreams, your worries, your loves and your fears. Keep drinking from that chipped cup."
It's in those rough weeks, those rough situations, those rough, chipped teacups that I remember. I serve a loving God. A Friend. A Redeemer. He pulls me through. He strengthens and He guides me back to Him. He began a good work and he promises to complete it.
I am thankful I married a southern gentleman. He escorted his three girls along with my sister to a tea room the other day. After a calculated look at the menu (I'm sure he was looking at what had the biggest amount of food;) I looked at him and asked how he felt, being in the lavender room, sipping sweet tea in an old Victorian house. He said he felt fine. You know he was raised to be a man and explore the world on his own by a mama that let them grow, but he also grew up around fine china, manners, and expectations. He said he felt like he was in his grandmother's house. (Which translated to "I am just fine with it because that woman meant so much to me." 11 and a half years I'm pretty good at reading him:)
He wasn't the only man there. I went to wash my hands, walked by a table and just couldn't look away. Sitting at a table for two was a daddy and his young daughter. I passed by them and that little girl had her little teacup and was just a talking away. That big daddy just smiling at his little girl. He was delighted in her. He briefly looked up, but all eyes were on her.
She didn't stop talking the whole time. Just talking about this and that, things that meant the world to a five year old girl. That great big daddy just smiled, taking it all in. She sipped her tea, dainty as she could be, and acted in her element of fancy with her big daddy.
All I could think about was my past week. And my mother who I cried on the phone to about the string of things that went from bad to worse for me, my daughter breaking her arm topping the whole week off with a bang. Her response to me was, "Go put your feet up and drink you some tea, honey." (She also said, "I want to beat them up for you," but that's beside the point.)
I prayed to God. I drank that tea. So the teacup I drank out of? Well, let me tell you a story, it was beautiful, but also chipped. It came from my husband's grandmother. It belongs to the family. She entertained in her beautiful old home as long as she was able. She would wash and dry that china and sometimes her hands weren't steady in her old age, and it would chip, or worse, it would break.
So I guess we could have overlooked the chipped pieces. I suppose they might be thrown away. But no, we kept the chipped ones. I choose the chipped ones out of the cupboard. First choice. I carefully drink around that roughly made edge and I don't mind my daughters carefully drinking with me. The chipped pieces paved the way for grace- a gift from a great grandmother to her great-granddaughters. We drink from the chipped cups with confidence.
I've been that little girl with God, having so much to say and so many important things. I feel hesitant to even bring things to him sometimes, because really, I get tired of myself sometimes. Like the chipped teacup, I have rough edges. I have places in my life where it just isn't fitting together perfectly. I look around me, it's the same for everyone, whether people want to believe it or not. I'm chipped but I most definitely belong in the family.
It's in these times when I ask him and pray, "Lord, show me your love. Show me your connection. Show me you," Then he places these situations in my life and says, "I am doing a good work in you. You are delighting me. My eyes are on you and not moving. I am that loving daddy in the tea room. Those chipped places, they offer grace, humility, a position to receive me fully. Don't stop being. Don't stop loving. Don't stop seeking or telling me your dreams, your worries, your loves and your fears. Keep drinking from that chipped cup."
It's in those rough weeks, those rough situations, those rough, chipped teacups that I remember. I serve a loving God. A Friend. A Redeemer. He pulls me through. He strengthens and He guides me back to Him. He began a good work and he promises to complete it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)